Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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