i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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