dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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