Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
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Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
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Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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