Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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