yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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