As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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