My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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