I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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