the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize