i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
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His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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