***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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