I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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