Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize