Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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