You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
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there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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