I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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