i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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