I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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