could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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