Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize