What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize