did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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