There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The Olympian is in my bed
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