Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
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I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
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THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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