Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I love you. Go after that dick
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
there is puke in my bra ... again
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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