wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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