woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize