its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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