If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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