I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
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Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
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I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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