My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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