scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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