He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize