I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish you could order shots online.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize