I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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