What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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