I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
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But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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