Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.

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(914): Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective. http://tfl.nu/41o9

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off

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(506): haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off http://tfl.nu/1xv0

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(678): View more from Georgia

I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.

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(678): I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/h2z1

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(847): View more from Illinois

Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job

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(847): Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job http://tfl.nu/eur1

Replies (42) Good night (671) Bad night (4852) Order T-Shirt
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(972): View more from Texas

I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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(972): I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up. http://tfl.nu/rj29

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(480): View more from Arizona

I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

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(480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp

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(256): View more from Alabama

do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!

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(256): do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?! http://tfl.nu/1fx5

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(425): View more from Washington

she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.

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(425): she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco. http://tfl.nu/8uv1

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(773): View more from Illinois

I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.

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(773): I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe. http://tfl.nu/xtio

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(303): View more from Colorado

Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.

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(303): Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life. http://tfl.nu/utnc

Replies (7) Good night (984) Bad night (3927)
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(432): View more from Texas

If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall

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(432): If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall http://tfl.nu/47u9

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(585): View more from New York

Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.

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(585): Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent. http://tfl.nu/f2ox

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(443): View more from Maryland

You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.

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(443): You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are. http://tfl.nu/njd0

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

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(412): The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked. http://tfl.nu/s0us

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(209): View more from California

I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.

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(209): I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick. http://tfl.nu/jrjk

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