This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize