I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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