Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
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In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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