My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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