literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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