he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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