I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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