Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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