I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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