Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize