I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize