I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
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I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
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It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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